Third time's a charm

I'm going to stop counting pretty soon, it doesn't serve any point, and it might give the impression that my playmates are just notches in the proverbial bedpost.

At the risk of repeating myself, I started writing here so that I could put all this new emotion out into the universe. I absolutely need an outlet for it. I also acknowledged that it can be something of a double-edged sword in that I have the potential to offend or negatively impact people. These writings, too, will serve as a way for me to go back and read how I've grown in this part of my life; how my likes, dislikes and limits, feelings and ideas have changed.

It occurred to me late Saturday morning as I was driving that there are things that I don't want to put into this universe; there are things that I want to keep. There were aspects of this last experience that touched me so deeply, that I want to keep them for myself. To reveal them in any sort of a public forum would somehow be like violating a bond that might exist, or just one that existed for a while, even if it only existed for a millisecond.

I had my first experience as a top this past Friday night. It was somebody that I've played with before. He is more experienced than I am, so I was a little nervous about how I'd do actually tying somebody, and then wasn't entirely sure what I'd do with him after.

We met for dinner, ate, and enjoyed some great conversation. Dinner lasted a couple of hours, and then we headed back to his place. I met his dogs, he showed me his house, gave me some history around it, showed me work he'd done in the place, showed me the back yard (as best he could in the dark), told me about plans he had for arranging his patio. Just the enjoyment of learning about him was incredible. Had the night ended there, I'd have left with a smile.

Part of the tour was seeing his collection of gear. The last piece of gear that came out was a medical immobilization device. The pieces are sleeves that are fitted around appendages (arms and legs), velcro'ed closed and then the air sucked out of them with a pump. The sleeves are filled with styrofoam or plastic beads; removing the air makes the sleeve very rigid. We came up with the idea of using 2 leg sleeves together to immobilize the torso; one covering the front of the body and the other covering the back. It worked well. We used a skull cap as a makeshift hood, and I bound him at the ankles. The shape and size of the devices only gave me access to his shoulders, upper chest and calves. I massaged those parts I could reach for a good while. In just those few limited places, I found some of the sexiest and most beautiful parts of a man's body that I guess I'd always missed before.

We decided to remove the immobilizers and try some rope. The pressure was on!

He was very patient with me, and I hope he knows how much I appreciate that. I did have the chance to try out my brand spankin' new 250' of 1/2 and 3/8" rope! We talked and laughed during the tying process, I tried to make sure I wasn't tying too tight, asking if he was comfortable, and asking him to provide guidance along the way. I think he has a reputation as something of an escape artist. He kept telling me my ties were good, and that he couldn't get out, so I think he was telling me the truth. I'd better not find out otherwise!

When I was done tying, the rope looked pretty good (I thought). We talked about taking pictures, but kinda got sidetracked. Somehow I think that interrupting the natural flow so that I could get a camera would have been a bad thing. There will be other opportunities for pictures. The session lasted a while, ending with the suggestion that we should maybe grab a snack.

I untied my friend, we enjoyed Rice Crispy Treats, Strawberry Newtons, ice water, and the company of his dogs before heading to bed. We slept (as best as I can remember, we were sleeping after all), intertwined in one another till about 10am Saturday morning.

I am purposefully leaving out significant detail, not because I don't think it's worth writing, but quite the contrary. It would be impossible express that detail without giving up those things that I want to keep for my own, and it turn violating that bond. It wasn't a wild fuck or anything even close. It was infinitely better than the wildest fuck you could imagine. Honestly, I'm not even sure I know words could adequately convey some of the things I felt.

I usually try not to say or guess what I think other people are thinking, mostly because I have no way of knowing for sure, and I really have no control over it. I can only express myself honestly in the ways I know how, and hope that others find that attractive. I, without question, felt a strong connection with this man on Friday night. I will go out on a limb and say that I think he may have felt a similar connection. There was no time during the night, that either of us seemed in a hurry to finish anything, nor did anything seem to go on too long. It all just worked perfectly.

If I had had the opportunity to create a wish list of how I'd have wanted that night to turn out, I couldn't have dreamed or imagined anything better.

Again, I bring no agenda or expectations to the table, but there remains absolutely no question that I want to learn more about this man, I want to learn from him. In time, maybe I'll have something to teach in return.